Professor Northman's Extra Credit Assignments
by seastarr08
Summary: I do love me some extra credit assignments. Outtakes from The Expert/Amateur.


**So, in case you couldn't tell, since I'm pushing almost 60 chapters with these characters, I adore them, and I think I'll have a bit of a hard time letting go, even if it is to dedicate my efforts to pirate Eric. To ease me out of this story, I've decided to post a series of Expert/Amateur outtakes. I have a few in mind, but I'd like to invite you, my most favourite readers, to contribute suggestions of things you'd like to read about, that I skipped or glossed over. I'm very open to suggestions, and to get you started, here's the scene you've all been waiting for. Eric vs. Mira for the two year split. I think you already know who the winner is. **

**Eric**

The hideous invitation was sprawled out on the table, a million pieces of RSVP cards, love sentiments, and even some heart confetti. It was, by far, the worst wedding invite I'd ever had the displeasure to receive.

"Sookie, are you home?" I heard sniffling from the bedroom.

"I'm up here."

Bill and I had gotten into it, I mean really gotten into it, a couple of days before, in my office, which, had infuriated me to no end. He'd blamed Sookie cutting him out of her life on me, which couldn't have been farther from the truth. Sookie had reached that conclusion all on her own. I would have pushed for something, since it was starting to impact her, but I didn't want it to come to that, and thankfully it didn't.

I sighed. The invite would have been sent before the fight. Talk about timing though. I climbed the stairs, to find Sookie curled up under the blankets with Max. I would have intercepted and trashed that mother fucking invitation if I'd made it home first. "You ok?"

"No. She's a fucking cunt, I know she's fucking with him, but he'll never listen to me."

She pulled out the c word. I'd never heard her say that before. "You can't worry about that."

"But I do, I know I can't, but I do." She looked numb. "I don't know what to do."

"We aren't going." There was no way, in two months, that I'd want to sit there and watch either of them commit to anything.

"No shit, Sherlock." She started to say something, and then stopped.

"What is it?"

"I've been in bed all day. I got up to feed Max, and change him, but I, I don't know. I'm just, well, down."She sighed. She'd been crying. Her eyes were all puffy, her nose red. "I just feel so helpless. I know, deep down, somewhere in him, he knew that you and I were good. Deep down, I know she's a bad person. I love him, and I don't know what to do about this."

I'd had enough of this. "I'm going out. Do you want anything?"

She shook her head, and went back to Max. She'd reverted to her afternoon breastfeeding, in the past few days, because it was calming, almost like smoking. I didn't have the heart to call her on it. The last two days had been hell. "Eric?"

"Yea?" I shouted from the bottom of the stairs."

"I'll be ok."

"I know you will. I'll be back in a bit." She needed to process. I was calm, for her, but inside I was furious. I never really got furious.

I grabbed the invitation and stuffed it in my coat pocket, stopping long enough to grab a piece of paper and write a 'leave us the fuck alone' letter, which stated what I'd already told Bill in my office. He, no, they, should have been more considerate of us, in this situation before sending the wedding invitation. Sookie cleared everything with Bill before inviting him to our reception party.

I realized, as he was standing there, telling me that I was manipulating the mother of my child, that we hadn't really had a time in our relationship where we hadn't been dealing with Bill, in one way or another. There were lulls, sure, but he was always there, friend or foe, ready to pop up and disrupt the life we'd worked so hard to put together. I had had enough.

I walked the 12 blocks to his house, mulling over what I was going to say, and if I was going to punch him. I didn't really have any reason to punch him, but I wanted to. I didn't get to say all that I wanted to say a few days earlier, because I had a need to uphold my professional, not giving a fuck, attitude at work. All bets were off. This had affected Sookie.

I got there, and banged on the door, hard. I waited a few minutes, ducking out of site of the peephole. Finally, after ten minutes, I got tired of waiting, and stuffed the contents of my pocket, heart confetti and all, into the mail slot. As I went for the letter, the door creaked open.

"Hi."

I looked up to see Mira, wearing a skimpy robe. "Don't fucking hi me. Where's Bill."

"He's teaching until 10. I see you left a message." She looked down at the pile I'd left inside the door, and shot me a smile.

"Stay the fuck away from us. You people are fucking poison."

"And you? Your fucking wife coming up into my house, like she owns the place, telling me she's watching me? You, running my name through the fucking mud at NYU until my credit cards are maxed out, since I lost my scholarship because of you."

"Well, isn't it convenient that you nabbed yourself a fiancee that lets you fuck him, with a house, and a rich family." She'd ran her own name through the mud. I hadn't said a word about her since I withdrew as her adviser. People talked though.

"Convenience has nothing to do with it." She raised her eyebrows. "I love Bill."

"Cut the bullshit Mira. I'm not buying it."

"Fortunately, its not for you to buy. The person who needed to buy it has." She laughed, a bitter laugh. Did she just say that?

"He'll see through your shit eventually, don't kid yourself."

"I'll always choose me, Eric. I look after myself. This is no different. It's not like I forced him to propose."

Mira was always especially good at mind fucking people. It was a special gift. While I was blunt and straightforward in my interviews, she twisted people into saying what she wanted them to. It was quite unethical, and we'd had numerous strained conversations about it when I was her adviser. It made her research less legitimate, in my opinion.

"You made him a bottom." It was all clear. She'd probably convinced him that it was what they both wanted, something they had in common. Sure, he was passive, but that was a big leap to make, in a mere four months with someone. Sookie said that they'd never used so much as a sex toy in six years. Sookie wasn't sexually repressed, and quite open to trying new things, so I was fairly certain that something would have come up. If it was his thing, then I'm sure parts of it would have come across in his personality. A finger in the ass, something. "You made him a bottom, so he'd never question you. You tricked him into trusting you, by convincing him you were both deviant, through your reproductive stance, and your sexual proclivities, but then you also manipulated him into the deviance, well the sexual part."

"Well, no one said you were just pretty." She winked. I hated her.

"And you are a psychopath. It's amazing how many of them are drawn to psychology. Dangerous too."

She shrugged. "Doesn't much matter, your diagnosis, does it. I got what I wanted, and, when you think about it, you got what you wanted too."

"I wanted my wife to be upset? I wanted the son of a friend of mine to be manipulated? Bill is not a threat to me. We want very different things out of life, and Sookie and I want the same things. Not a concern. In case you forgot, we have a son together. I don't care if they're friends, well, I didn't care before all of this. You'll never get the house Mira, Liz will ever sign it over as long as you're in the picture, so if that's what you're after, forget it."

"The house is not an issue." I heard a rustling behind her.

"Do you have someone else here?" Jesus, was it not enough that she was manipulating him, she was cheating on him too?

"That's really none of your business."

"No, you know what, you're right, its not. Mira, stay the fuck away from my family, and you can pass that message onto your fiancee, and whoever else you're fucking. There's a special place in hell for people like you. Thank fuck neither of you want kids, because I'm sure you'd be using them as a tool for manipulation as well. Have a lovely evening." I slammed the door back in her face.

I walked the twelve blocks back, picked up flowers, and a pizza and crawled in bed with Sookie and Max, with the pizza.

"Where were you?"

"Declining our invitation to the wedding."

"Oh. You talked to Bill again?"

"No, Mira. Bill was out. I think she's cheating on him."

"Doesn't much matter, does it. She's pretty much blameless in his books, for anything." She wiped some more tears from her eyes.

"I guess. I think you weren't off, not picking up too many signs about Bill's sexual behavior. I think she got him into it, in an attempt to bind him to her."

"To ruin him for all other women? That's harsh."

"Are you surprised?"

She sighed, wrapping her arms around Max. "No."

"You want some pizza?"

"Not hungry."

"Sook." I looked at her. "You have to eat. I know you're upset, and I'll give you time with that, but you have to eat. If not for you, for Max. Did you eat anything today?"

"No, this whole thing, I lost my appetite."

"Well, appetite or not, have some pizza." I wasn't taking no for an answer.

She choked down a slice, still looking numb. "I need him gone, gone from my life, at least for a while."

"Well I'm working on it." I grinned, a crooked grin.

She laughed, a muted chuckle. "You sure are."

As if on cue, there was a knock at our front door, not unlike the one I'd left at Bill's earlier. "Three guesses who that is?"

"Leave the pizza."

I gave her a snuggle, burying my face in her unwashed hair."Thank you. You're taking a shower when I'm done." Two and a half days in bed was enough. We were pushing past this.

I bounded down the stairs and whipped the door open. It had started raining, and Bill was standing there, soaking wet, holding the note I left. "What right do you have, to come into my house and accuse my wife of infidelities. He threw the note down." He was even angrier than he'd been in my office a couple of days ago.

"I didn't accuse anyone of anything. If you came to my house, and my wife was in a slinky robe and someone that wasn't me was there, who was out of sight, wouldn't you question it?"

"Fuck you Eric."

"Look, Bill. I've had enough of this. We both have. We're out. If this was a contest of some sort, we are backing out. Throwing our cards down, cashing in our chips."

"She'll see you eventually, and you'll leave her, only now, she's stuck with your kid."

I didn't even acknowledge what he'd said, it was so far from the truth. "You're projecting your insecurities onto us. You were fine with us until Mira came into the picture."

"You think, you can just go from being who you were, to Mr. Supportive Husband? I don't fucking think so."

"I could, and I did, and I am. I love my family, which is why I'm bothering with any of this. Your shit is infiltrating our happiness, and I've, no, we've had enough. It's over. Stay the fuck away from us. Get off my property, or I'll call the police and have you removed. I'm drawing a line here Bill, cross it, and I won't be responsible for the consequences." Max started crying upstairs. "Anyway, I'm done. Really, get off my property." I slammed the door, and locked it. This was upsetting him, and undoubtedly Sookie. I didn't care about anything else.

I went upstairs and crawled in bed with her and Max. "We're done. I'm done with this." It was all a little too Jerry Springeresque for my liking.

"I agree. I don't even want to talk about it." I wiped some tears from her face. She rolled over and faced me, putting Max between us.

"Then we won't. I think we've said all there is to say on this topic."

* * *

**I'm slowly moving all my fanfiction to my blog, and there are 15 more outtakes posted there. You can find them at seastarr08 dot wordpress dot com**


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